I want to share some knowledge and insight I have regarding conflict resolution. In particular, I want to express my experience of equality, contribution to life and peace with non violent communication.

Over the past 5 years, I’ve been involved with non violent communication (NVC), also known as compassionate communication. I’ve seen it work in unforeseen ways. I’ve experienced it at a small group level and have been part of a national project.

Violence is a relative term that does not always mean physical violence, though it often does. The word violence is used because to many people, simply not being able to communicate brings up all sorts of fear emotions, which cause a confrontational discourse. This lengthy dialogue becomes a weapon that is used to attack a perceived opponent, in an effort to satisfy an emotional need.

The process that the Conflict Resolution Center uses is very similar to the NVC method. There are two purposes for this type of process:

1.        create human connections that empower compassionate giving and receiving
2.        create governmental and corporate structures that support compassionate giving and receiving

In my opinion, these purposes are vital to a healthy relationship for people living together. It works on a family level, as well as municipal and greater.  The simple explanation is this: When people have an opportunity to express themselves fully, and thereby tell their “story”, they will then have sorted out their thoughts into a new reality and will be willing to listen to others tell theirs. It has been well documented that story telling, or “listening projects”, do amazing things toward transforming a community.

A similar process was documented by Members of the Harvard Negotiation Project, Roger Fisher and William Ury. They co wrote a book called: “Getting to Yes”, a perennial best seller which has been on Business Weeks “Best-Seller” book list for three years. It has a similar method:

• Separate the people from the problem

• Focus on interests, not positions

• Invent options for mutual gain

• Insist on using objective criteria

 

 

One more example of this type of process is given through the Rural Southern Voices for Peace (RSVP). They have had these following successes:

·         The Human Cost of War: Listening to Voices of Iraq Veterans and Their Families

• The United Nations has included the “Community Development and Peace Building Project” (Okucani, Croatia) as being among the 10 most successful examples of Reconciliation and Community Development work in the world.

• ·         Operating under the motto “building community through community,” inCOMMON has brought the Listening Project to Omaha’s Park Avenue neighborhood.

·         San Jose: Building Democracy and Strong Neighborhoods
 

In closing, I want to convey this good news; this is often a long process, sometimes a year or more. During that year, this process is likely to get to the deepest levels of all our concerned residents. Those who will complete this process will be dynamic world changers, who will impact everyone they encounter. The likely pay off for this process is a realization of our new common values and goals as a community. Clear and common values can allow clearly articulated goals, which will then create a major shift and change in the dynamics of the community, with measurable results. Our social and economic patterns will become one of cooperation and collaboration.

In January of 1981, the Roanoke Neighborhood Partnership, which became the Roanoke Neighborhood Advocates, started a dialogue in the Belmont Neighborhood. It was the beginning of a process, sponsored by the City of Roanoke. While many issues were addressed and ideas for action were discussed, the roots of the problem were barely seen. We have the opportunity to take the next step, along with the City of Roanoke, neighborhood businesses and NGO’s, in an effort to go deeper.

Southeast Roanoke is rich in history and culture. It’s a neighborhood who started Roanoke. The deep roots are still here. They have been buried by unilateral changes that have overwhelmed generations of residents to the point that the roots are now barely noticeable. We have a chance to see them again and I truly hope we put forth our greatest effort toward that end.